Page updated: 25 March 2008
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From the year 1975 when I first started playing the clarinet until 1985 when I learnt to drive, Dad was my chauffeur and constant companion to all my music lessons, Saturday morning Music School, county music festivals, Sunday morning Lewisham Concert Band rehearsals, concerts, music exams, dance lessons… the list goes on.
He would sit in the car with his flask of coffee and cake and wait. Such patience and dedication - without his support I would not have been able to achieve half the things that I have.
I never chose music as a career but decided instead to work in the City where I would often meet Dad for lunch or get the train home with him after work.
He was a messenger for Coutts and Co where he worked for 40 years until he retired in 1989. |
Derreck Norris |
Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 1999. After suffering months of depression Mum finally got him to the Doctors where he was sent for tests. At first, because there’s no real signs of dementia, you kid yourself that it will be fine, that Dad won’t end up like you see other sufferers but believe me they do change. First its little things like going down the garden to dig with a fork in your hand but once there not knowing why you are there. Then, your character begins to change, you become suspicious of everyone, you get angry, you get sad, you burst into tears for no reason. Eventually everything goes, you don’t recognise your family, you’re doubly incontinent and you are trapped in this nightmare world of your own.
This is where the help and support of the The Alzheimers Society is invaluable. They run respite groups where patients and their carers go for lunch and a chit chat. This is more for the carers as they are able to talk to other people in exactly the same predicament, they can get advice from the people running the group, for example, what financial help is available from the government like carers allowance, also legal advice like obtaining ‘enduring power of attorney’ and also getting your partner into respite care for a weeks break just so the carer can sleep and get back on track.
Being a carer is a 24/7, seven day a week sentence. These may sound harsh words but it’s true. My mum lost so much weight, she was a prisoner in her own home, my Dad would hit her, lock her out in the garden, swear at her and all sorts. You care for them because you love them, but the disease makes them a stranger to you – they just happen to look like the person that you love as your husband, father, wife, mother etc.,
The support and help that the Society gives is amazing it makes you feel that no matter how bad things become there’s always someone there, like a friend, to turn to. When Kara starts school in September I’ll have time to work with a group of young dementia patients, some of these people are in there forties – how tragic is that.
 Derreck in 1970 |
Derreck in 1980 |
The Alzheimers Society's aim is to improve the quality of life for people and carers with all types of dementia and takes a wide range of forms. Through their branches, they touch the lives of over 30,000 people every week, providing practical services and support for people with dementia and their carers. Every year, more than a million people make use of the information they provide.
Through campaigning and lobbying they strive to influence government policies and raise awareness of the challenges faced by people with dementia and the people who care for them. And through their research programme they work to improve the knowledge they have about dementia and its treatment - and pursuing the ultimate goal of finding a cure.
The Alzheimer's Bexley Branch are 'over the moon' that the Eynsford Concert Band has chosen them as this years band charity - so let's get fund raising!!!
Angela Jackson
(Norris)
February 2008